Writing headlines is hard. 

Coming up with something appropriately attention grabbing without veering off into purple prose is a serious skill. I, myself, occasionally have moments of headline genius, but often times wind up more in the land of "huh?" 

And I know it's not just me. After all, the Washington Post just gave us this headline gem last week.

But really, the world of hedge funds deserves their own set of headline awards. The headlines about the hedge fund industry are often incendiary, divisive and generally geared to just stir stuff up. 

In order to help casual readers of hedge fund press wade through the copious and inflammatory rhetoric, I've created a handy-dandy hedge fund babel fish for y'all below. 

May this little translation tool reduce your drama factor exponentially this Thanksgiving, even if you use it while hiding away from kids/in-laws/friends/siblings/spouses or dishwashing duties.

Hedge Fund BabelFish

Happy Thanksgiving to those that celebrate it, and may everyone find something this week for which to be grateful, whether there's tryptophan involved or not.