In the fantastic, utterly un-politically correct movie Blazing Saddles, Madeline Kahn plays a lisping, Teutonic, burlesque dancer (and at least part time lady of the evening) by the name of Lily von Shtupp. Enlisted to help rid Rockridge of its new sherrif, we get to see Lily in action as she performs one of the movie’s highly underated muscial numbers “I’m Tired.”  Kahn croons:

“I’m Tired…

Tired of playing the game…

Ain’t it a cwying shame….

I’m SO tired.”

I felt a bit the same this week as I contemplated the latest hedge fund headlines and had a head-on rendezvous with some déjà vus. A quick Googling let me know I wasn’t imagining things…we actually are stuck in a sort of hedge fund Groundhog’s Day. Minus the cheeky rodent.

Yes, it seems we get to start the year in January, where we lament that the average hedge fund performed averagely. Then in April and May we get the Hedge Fund 100 that showcases most successful (from an AUM perspective) funds, followed closely by the Hedge Fund “Rich List”, which tells us all how much we didn’t make the year before.

Around mid-summer we get treated to a rare showcase of female hedge fund talent, before switching gears to talk about mid-year performance, closures and anticipated end of the year launches. Short articles follow that focus on the Hedge Funds Care and 100 Women in Hedge Fund Galas, before we end the year discussing, again, how the average fund fared.

And in between bursts of schadenfreude, finger pointing and headshots of hedge fund bigwigs, we get a (time-lagged) look into hedge fund portfolios. Not that we care, because the average hedge fund is still average, but let’s just take a little peek.

So to thoroughly prepare us all for the year ahead, I thought I’d create a little cartoon calendar to keep the continuous coverage in perspective. 

And if you need something a bit more granular to mark the days just remember this happy mantra – negative hedge fund coverage? Must be a day that ends in “Y.”

Image Credits: BrainCheese and 123RF: <a href='http://www.123rf.com/profile_photoman'>photoman / 123RF Stock Photo</a>